Today’s post is a little more on the personal side, but part of having this blog is sharing my life with you guys and I don’t want you to think it’s all glitter and bubbles all the time. Not that this post is sad or bad, it’s just more of a peek behind the curtain and a look at my journey since transitioning from business owner to stay at home mom.
If you’ve been following along for a while, then you know I’ve been going through a MAJOR life transition. Not not only did my family and I move from bustling Chicago to sleepy (in a good way) Aspen, but I also closed my business after 15 years of pioneering the luxury consignment industry. That may sound glamorous and exciting, and it was a lot of the time, but the truth is, it just wasn’t fulfilling for me anymore.
Now my resume reads full-time mom, and although it hasn’t been pure joy every single second of every day, I’ve honestly never felt more satisfied and happy. You see, when Zelda was born, I completely fell in love with being a mom. I wanted to be the mom that could drop her off and pick her up from school, volunteer in her classroom, go on all her field trips – everything. I wanted to be sure that my presence in her life was big and felt. And not just when she was little, but all throughout her childhood, teenage years and into adulthood.
All of that said, it dawned on me recently that that dream I had of playing that role in Zelda’s life is happening. Like, right now, it’s happening. And I really wanted to take a minute to recognize it because I think sometimes we dream about what we want our lives to be, but not often enough do we actually stop and acknowledge when that dream comes true.
For me, it clicked just the other day that my dream was happening and I just felt so overcome with gratitude. Gratitude to God, to Spiro and everyone in my life who had a hand in getting me to where I am today.
So, although I’m feeling extremely grateful right now, I’m also a bit bummed because even though I feel like I’m finally living my truth, I’m still meant with comments like, “How could you leave your business behind to just be a mom?” I don’t feel like I need to defend my decisions to anyone, but for all the women out there who “just” stay home, I want to say that I see you. It is hard, mentally draining and something I didn’t fully understand until I stepped into the role myself.
And to the women who work in the corporate world and are grinding every damn day to keep kicking ass at the office and at home, I see you too. I know the struggle of juggling it all and the immense amount of guilt. Guilt from not being home enough AND guilt from not being at work enough. And if you ever make the same decision I did, to leave it all behind because you feel a greater calling to your family, that is OK! You are still a strong woman.
In the world we live in, unfortunately, there are certain pressures we feel as women. But at the end of the day, you have to do what is right for YOU. We only get one life, so we might as well spend it living our truth. Do what works best for you and your family without fear of judgment from society. I promise it’ll feel a million times more rewarding than pretending to be fulfilled every day.
How do I know this? I’ll tell you.
At the end of February, I got a thank you note from Zelda’s class (complete with the signatures of two dozen preschoolers) for helping to throw their Valentine’s Day party. Like I mentioned above, one of my goals in being a stay at home mom was to be incredibly involved at Zelda’s school. So, I asked her teacher if I could throw their class Valentine’s Day party. The teacher was very pleasantly surprised at my offer but took me up on it right away.
You bet your bottom dollar that I put together the most perfect, love-filled party for Zelda’s class. And what was even more special, was that I got to be there for the two hours it went on along with Spiro, which seriously almost made my heart explode.
My reward for throwing that little party was the thank you card I received. But it wasn’t just a card to me. It hands down meant more than accomplishing business goal or any opportunity I’ve ever had. And that’s when I knew I was 100% living my truth. Because never had I been filled with so much joy or satisfaction from something in my life.
Before having Zelda, I probably would have told you that getting my first pair of Louboutins was the best day of my life. And if that’s you, that’s amazing! Take joy in whatever fills you up! And own it!
I just want us, as women, to support one another for living our truths. If you’re struggling in any way, let me just tell you – do it! It’s beautiful and it makes you a stronger woman, a stronger mom and a stronger wife. But more than anything, as cliche as it sounds, it fills your heart! And that’s the best feeling of all.